Friday, January 13, 2012

Ahhh

I'm sore, tired, my hip hurts, but it feels oh so good to be able to finally get a good run in.  Now to find a good chiropractor. And maybe some ice.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Reminders

Sometimes it's hard to believe things happen because of coincidence. Lately things have been pretty rocky. Ever since the last miscarriage, the emotions have become a bit hard to deal with, so I've retreated behind a wall of sorts. The last two months or so, I've pretty much blocked any and all emotion, because as soon as I allow myself to feel, even positive emotions, everything floods over me and in a matter of minutes I'm curled up in a ball on the floor in tears because it becomes so unbearable so quickly. Needless to say, it's been easy to become discouraged over anything. And it doesn't help that a very unwelcome AF reared her head again this month, meaning yet again another month of constantly wondering if I'm pregnant again or not. All I've wanted to do lately is curl up with the hubs and pretend like nothing exists in the world but the two of us.

Anyway, I've felt pretty discouraged and worried today about everything, in particular my photography. There is so much I still need to learn, and I'm constantly trying to learn as much as I possibly can. I don't think I'm that great at it yet, and am always surprised when someone says they like one of my images. I have been wishing lately I could find even *one* willing photographer who could teach me a little more, maybe even let me tag along on a shoot or two, but thus far I have found no one.

Tonight was one of those evenings that I was delayed a bit from going running. I like to go out around six, but since dinner didn't settle well, I decided to wait, and around 8:30, I finally felt good enough to go. I mentioned my frustration to Mike as I was walking out the door, and left thinking about what else I could do to improve my photography. Well, no kidding as I was walking down the stairs, I happened to run into a girl I went to Jr High with, who I haven't seen in years, who just happened to be meeting up with a friend who happens to be a photographer. And, it just so happens they live in the same complex as us, and it just so happens that her friend said she is willing to help give me tips and what not. Not only was it awesome running into an old acquaintance, but it was awesome meeting someone willing to teach me a few things.

After I was done running, I came back and told Mike what had happened, and for a second he thought I was pulling his leg. Nope. We both came to the quick conclusion it was not simply coincidence. As I was getting ready to settle down for the evening, I got this quiet feeling that simply said, "I haven't left you. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing." The topper on the cake is that tonight, for the first time in months, I've been able to feel a small amount of emotion without everything washing over me. Still a long way to go, but I'll take anything I can get at this point. For tonight, I'm grateful for these reminders the Lord is aware of us and is always there watching out for us.