Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Running.

I've officially taken up running again! It's really become a welcome escape for me with everything that has been going on lately. Plus, my body is loving it! I can almost feel it saying to me, "Oh, I remember how to do this. Why did you take such a long break?" I love pushing myself beyond what I think I can do, the methodical rhythm of my footsteps, and getting into the "zone" and focusing on nothing but the next quarter of a mile. Plus, that runner's high isn't too bad either!

Today I hit a nice goal - run two miles in under 25 minutes. I did it in 22. I know this isn't THAT impressive, but considering I've taken almost a year off from running, and it took me 15 minutes less than a week ago to run just one mile, and I have to fight through an old quad injury from back in the high school track days that's never fully healed, it's pretty big. By the end of the next two weeks, I want to be running three miles in 20 minutes, and eventually work my way up to four. A lofty goal, but hey, I want to be in good shape for Europe (which includes going back on my strict no sugar diet)! And it's totally working! The two-pack that I had eight months ago is already starting to show! (I'm weightlifting too) Mike's been working out pretty hard the last few weeks too, and he's looking *fantastic.* Sorry ladies, but that hunk is allll mine. :-)

Swimsuit season, here we come.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

So. My appointment didn't go as well as we hoped. At all. Yet again another miscarriage. Apparently the problem now is STAYING pregnant. Great. Needless to say, we're more than a little discouraged with the whole process. Right when the wound was starting to heal, it got ripped open again, and farther. So, we've decided that we aren't going to try again until after Europe. We need a little break from the physical and emotional toll it has been taking.

I'm not going to lie, I've been a little shocked at people's reactions this time around. I've even been asked straight out if I was sure I had been pregnant. Uhh. No, we just decided to tell everyone we were pregnant again for kicks and giggles, oh and my period just *happened* to not show for two months, when I've never missed a single one except for when I'm pregnant, and we just *happened* to have several positive tests. They seem to think it's impossible to get pregnant and miscarry only three months after my previous one. Come on people. And please, don't tell us it will "happen again soon" or that "the third time's a charm." I can't tell you how many times we've heard that. And it gets old. Fast. And if we want to talk about it, we'll bring it up. Otherwise leave it be. Infertility is hard. Getting pregnant after you were told you would never be able to have kids and then miscarry TWICE within three months is even harder. Back to square one. If there's a silver lining in this whole thing it's that at least we know we can get pregnant. Now to just stay pregnant.

In other news, we have decided to go on a cruise to the Carribean! We're looking at going at the end of September/beginning of October. I guess you could say we've been bitten by the travel bug. That, and we just need a vacation with the two of us to get away somewhere tropical and enjoy ourselves. Things have been way too serious around here, and we are ready to have some good old fun.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

This and That

I haven't been trying to be MIA the last few weeks...promise! Things are starting to get crazy around here now that school's done, which we aren't minding one little bit.

My first OB/GYN appointment is coming up on Wednesday, and well, let's be honest here. I'm as nervous as heck about it. In fact, I don't try to not think about it. I know, I passed the 8 week 3 day mark a while ago (which is when I miscarried), but it doesn't mean I'm any less nervous. I feel in my heart things will be okay, and I have to keep telling myself that, but I still find myself constantly praying a healthy baby with a strong heartbeat will show up on the ultrasound. It will be a huge relief and I'm sure it will make it seem more real to both of us. It's still hard to imagine I really am pregnant, which my suddenly snug jeans (and bras) can firmly attest to! I'm not ready to bust out the maternity clothes yet though.

In others news, Mike's dad finally got released as and Area Seventy, after 8 1/2 years in the calling. We went to his 75th (and final) stake conference on Sunday, and it was fabulous. I must say, my in-laws are both extremely talented speakers! I loved Jennifer's talk, but my favorite was Fraser's. Partly because he shared a story about Mike when he was diagnosed with cancer. We got to hear how it was from his point-of-view and what he observed about Mike and his mom. Needless to say, my mother-in-law is an angel (in case you didn't already know!) and Mike is nothing short of a walking miracle.

School is finally done. In more ways than one for me. Mike is still going through spring term, and has 18-ish months left, but I'm finished. It still feels weird to say that. Yes, I'm not graduating. I've felt for about 18 months now that my time at BYU is at an end, and I  knew fall semester it's really time to go in another direction, I just wasn't sure if it was going to be another one or two semesters at BYU. It was looking like it was going to be another two, until I got pregnant again in March. Apparently it was only one more semester. I struggled with this for a LONG time, but I know there is another, better direction the Lord is leading me. A college degree is good, but there are other things in life that are more important (Elder Oaks' 2007 conference talk helped me fully understand this). I've always felt a college degree wouldn't be an essential part of my life, although I used to dream of going to medical school and becoming an Oncologist. Now, my priorities and dreams have changed. I want first and foremost to be a mother who rears her children in love and righteousness, is there to witness all of the "firsts," become the wife and mother I've dreamed of becoming, and to love and serve those around me. I believe there is no greater joy and no greater lessons than those things you can only learn through being a mother. Things no university can teach. I'm not saying this is for everyone or that every woman should do this, because that isn't the case. But this is the case for me, and I'm so grateful for a wonderful husband who works hard to make this happen and become a full-time mom. I'm excited to start this new chapter in our lives!

For the more exciting part of things...six weeks and counting until we are outta here for Europe. But, who's counting? We aren't excited about it *at all* (wink, wink). It's been insane trying to get all of the odds and ends we'll need while we are there! I finally got an extra battery and two, yes two, extra memory cards for the camera. We've gotten pretty much everything for the plane we'll need (the trick is trying not to read the three books I got before we leave!), and most of everything else, I hope, but I still have to get a swimsuit haha! Better get on that one..

Anyway, the dishes are calling my name, double yuck since our dishwasher is currently out of commission. Guess I'd better get them done..

P.S. Sorry for the lack of pictures lately. We haven't had very many picture-worthy moments lately, and Mike has been anti-picture since he dropped 30 pounds from his Thyroid issues (which we're still working on; he's *slowly* gaining weight back - yay!). But, this will change soon - promise! In the meantime for your viewing pleasure - us from back in the day...