Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Ugh

Have you ever had one of those *blah* days? Yeah, I'm having one of them, and I'm not liking it so much. And the fact I have to go up to Salt Lake in an hour. And drive home during Rush Hour. I would much rather stay home, bag the homework, and watch a chick flick. *HOPEFULLY* tomorrow won't be a *blah* day..

Monday, March 29, 2010

Spring has Sprung


Today I got my little balcony "garden" started! I can't wait! So far we have peppers, oregano, thyme, lemon basil, mint, zinnias, and lupins. I would like to get a few tomato plants going too...just have to get over to the nursery and get the starts sometime! In the meantime, I can't wait for my seeds to germinate! :-D

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Mike's Story

I was going through things on my computer and found something that made me smile. It was the story of the events leading up to Mike proposing to me...in his words. :-) It makes me smile every time I read it! Thought I would share it:

I do not believe in coincidence, but I do believe in divine guidance. The story of Shantell and I involves much of the latter. The first clear memory I have of spending time with her was at a Halloween party at Alpine Village. At this time she was a little interested in one of my friends and not me. I was very impressed with her demeanor at the dance. She clearly had a lot of fun, yet she did not dance dirty with any guys or compromise her morals in any way. This experience left a mark on me.
After this she came over often to talk to my roommates and spend time with them. One night before Christmas she came over and we had a great conversation for some time. I remember feeling a strong connection but not understanding what it was.

After Christmas was over we started spending more time together and began dating. Over the next several months we shared some very trying experiences and went through some very tough times together in our lives. We both saw each other at some of the hardest times we have had in life. After months of this we both decided it was not the right time for us to date and I believed at the time we did not have a future together. I also thought we would not even be friends soon.

I decided that unhappiness was not the course I wanted my life to take. Through many miracles and the power of the Atonement, many hurts and shortcomings I had were healed and have become strengths. This process took months and my life started feeling much better and more enjoyable. I tried to turn my life more over to God and less to myself. I was glad of the turn and had no idea the plan that these changes were part of.

Over this time Shantell and I had a little contact but not much. We would have the occasional text or visit, but not often. I purposely tried to avoid her at times or sometimes just the opposite and tried to see her. This was during the summer and so we were often out at the pool or around socializing somewhere. I was still hurt by our break up, but tried not to show it, and certainly not to her. I have always thought Shantell a wonderful woman, but I believed she was young and not yet ready for a serious relationship. I knew also I had not been ready when we had dated previously and the more I reflected upon it, the more I knew it was more my fault than anyone else’s. Although, at times and I would try to put the blame on her instead of taking responsibility myself. Shantell is such an angel, the only fault I could think of were all things to do with being young and inexperienced. Her strengths are so many and that was on my mind often. I was merely afraid of getting to close to someone and getting hurt emotionally.

During the last week of my time at Alpine Village I was still looking for housing for the fall. I had been praying and worrying about it for some time. I tried to stay at Alpine Village, but never felt quite right about it and some assurances made were not kept so I decided to go elsewhere. Within an hour I had found a place at Belmont and went to make the deposit and sign the contract. This was right across the street from Shantell’s new apartment she was moving to. For some reason this comforted me. We were talking a little bit more at this point, but I still only thought we were not going to be more than just friends. When she offered to help me move in, I was surprised, but gladly accepted her help.
As the school semester started again and work kept moving along, we started talking more and even walked to school once. I believed we would both hang out and be friends until she started dating another guy, I thought this the most likely, or I started dating another girl. I thought after she started dating someone we would part ways and that would be the end of our communication.

At the start of fall when we started being friends again, the entire dynamic of everything was different than before. We had both changed our lives, independent of each other, and were doing well. I felt I should be cautious in our friendship to a degree and just accept it as just friends and there would be no problems. I began enjoying our time together more and more as time went on. We went from hanging out once a week to every couple days to every day. We started cooking together on Monday and watching the tv show Heroes, which is one of our favorites.

One day my sister Sabrina invited me to my niece’s birthday party. She is a very sweet 4 year old girl who is a constant joy. I am very close with this sister. I remember wanting to invite Shantell because I was very excited about the party and she was the one I wanted to share it with. I was nervous because I was hoping she wouldn’t think this as a sign of us getting serious or going past friends. She graciously accepted the invitation and we had a great time. The kids just love Shantell, she has a great bond with all 3 of my nieces and certainly my nephew. I did not know at the time, but my sister told Shantell she hoped we would start dating again. Sabrina has always liked Shantell, and would tell me often.

Around this time, we began cuddling again. I enjoyed this very much and that confused me. I played it down and thought we could be cuddle buddies and it would not mean anything. Soon she became my best friend, and I began having feelings for her again. Yet I fought them, even though our friendship was wonderful and we were both doing great. We had come to trust each other greatly, I could and would tell her anything and everything and she could give me valuable counsel and help me to feel better. She was a great part of my day and I looked forward to her visits and to our spending time together. When she would have a rough day, she could come over and I could take her in my arms and talk about it, and she did the same for me. She is a wonderful listener.

Soon after I decided to ask her on a date. This was merely an extension of our friendship and I had a wonderful time with her. No matter what we were doing I loved it. We would go out often at this point, but also stay in and enjoy ourselves. We did not kiss till one Sunday after a nap, when we did it was really good!

I talked to my family often about her, and my friends. They all had heard of our rough times before, but had heard of and seen the changes and how happy we had become.
We had been praying about what we should do for a couple months by this point. The only answer I had gotten was that we were in a good place and on the right path. I did not feel we should date yet. Over Thanksgiving I felt a big change while I was in Park City and she was in Idaho. I felt at peace with me and Shantell and was blessed with the ability to let go of the resistance I had to us dating and progressing.

I was so happy to see her come home off the Thanksgiving bus. How I missed her those 4 days she was gone! One thing that had never changed during this whole time for me was that I never stopped loving her. I resisted it at times, but it did not go away for me. It certainly changed in the fall and turned into a much healthier and selfless love. This was a huge miracle. I told her a few times before Thanksgiving even though I knew she could not say it or did not feel it back. When she returned and we went back to my apartment I felt the Spirit very strongly and asked her how she felt about us dating. She said she felt good and so I asked how she felt about being exclusive, she let me answer first and I said I would be good with it. She said she would be more than ok with it too and told me she loved me, I told her I loved her also. This was another miracle. Neither of us planned that conversation or knew it was even coming. When we stopped fighting and opened our hearts, the conversation just happened.

The following week was wonderful. It was one of the best of my life. I was so happy and she seemed to be the same. The only thing I could think about during this time was marriage. I didn’t understand why, and I thought there was no way she was thinking the same thing. We had just begun dating again! That next Sunday, the topic of marriage got brought up and we both realized we had been thinking the same thing all week and we both admitted we hoped it would be the other person that we married.

The next week saw even more miracles! I am so grateful for this time. Every day three, four or more undeniable confirmations would come to us. Our marriage was just falling into place. All the pieces were coming together, and it was so easy. These past few weeks have easily been the best of my entire life. I have never been so full of joy and so at peace. We are not on cloud 9, I know what that is like and this is so different. This is us allowing the Lord to work in our lives and Him blessing us with miracles and joy. This is His perfect plan, the plan of salvation and the plan of happiness. I am nothing without God, and am so grateful I was blessed with such an amazing woman. She is my heaven here on earth. She is a part of me, the best part, and I feel complete with her near. Shantell is very Christlike, she brings me closer to Him and has developed many qualities so she is like unto Him. She has a glow about her, a light that enhances all who meet her. I am so glad and so grateful we get to take this journey of life and eternity together. I have never had such joy as I have had with her. I am so excited for the future with her, and I am loving every minute of it now. I feel I could not be blessed any more than I have, I have the perfect woman for me. I love her so much, more than I can say. I love all of her, good qualities and shortcomings. I have been preparing my whole life for this time, and all the pain and suffering I have gone through has been worth it. It has allowed me to meet my angel, my heaven here on earth and let us begin our life as a family soon

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Facebook no more

So, I finally did what I've been telling myself I would do for months now. I deleted my facebook account. Shock, I know. I just decided I was spending too much time on it and it was a waste of my time. Maybe now I will get more homework done when I get on the computer. Hopefully.